Day Six of the Cleanse and believe me that is most of my news right there. For six days I have eaten either A) Nothing (but had incredible energy drink) or B) eaten one small meal at lunch and two magic powder shakes which are like a secret potion, but do nothing for my emotional hunger. And truth be told, some dusty chocolate tablets which make me feel yes less hungry, but also like I should be nibbling them out of someone’s hand as they have a horse treat feel to them. I know what you want to know, well did you lose weight. In fact I don’t know because although this plan IsAgenix, there now I plugged it, wants you to measure yourself and get on a scale; all those things seem so shaming and even counter-productive to me. If I can’t tell when I feel better with out exterior markers then yes, shame on me.
I did this Cleanse because I wanted to unplug myself from all the care taking I do attached to food. I wanted to see how I felt as me without cooking, cleaning up, making snacks and fueling myself with a stream of too much. So when friend of mine, who used to be one of my most respected editors, now turned fitness and yoga guru, suggested this plan, I leapt in during the first week of spring. And I feel great that I am doing it.
Last night my husband, gotta love men, ate an entire bag of potatoes chips while we watched The Blind Side. It was torture. But I didn’t take any. Remember Bet you can’t eat Just one! I do. Small steps, which are making me, feel virtuous. And even if I am the same size, the same me when it is over, then I had, what my girl friend Rachel called a MECATION of sorts. Time for just me with a different cast. I walked more, I went to therapy, I took Pilates class, I wrote and wrote, and I talked with friends and family with no drinks or food involved. Amazing.
And today while doing yard work I did poop out faster than when I am eating my normal farm wife fare: a hearty breakfast, big lunch and snacks all throughout the burning, sweeping, planting, weeding. So I checked out earlier than usual and took a nap covered in cats. Wonderful. When I woke up I went through my March poem and I nearly have it.
I am a tad embarrassed, as it is such a short, simple poem. I picked it because I was supposed to have launched for India, but since the trip was postponed I stayed on course with the very terse, but deep to me, Daylight. Perhaps this month has been about seeing myself more as that Sweating older woman and loving her, loving the old bitch, whole because she is me.
I wanted to see how I felt as me without cooking, cleaning up, making snacks and fueling myself with a stream of too much. So when friend of mine, who used to be one of my most respected editors, now turned fitness and yoga guru, suggested this plan, I leapt in during the first week of spring. And I feel great that I am doing it.